The past few weeks were hysteric. There were a few outstation assignments; a few unreasonable job datelines; an 'companionship" trip which I followed my husband to attend a job training in Singapore; my cousin's wedding back in Kota Bharu; relative's visit to KL and sadly, my father-in-law's funeral back in Sungai Petani.
So, all these explain why I have neglected my blog for so long. I am so sorry to all my readers who wanted to know the latest update of my treatment. Thanks to all of you who had sent me emails to check on my status. I truly appreciate that.
With the hectic schedule as mentioned above, there was no progress since the BFN of my first IUI. I promise to write more about my journey next month, after everything has settled down and when I have more time to myself.
Till then, see you soon and stay tuned!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Another long wait......
I have not been updating my blog for a month, solely because there is just nothing happening here. A little recap here, today is Day 48 of my cycle, my period is not here yet. I was told by Dr. Prashant that my cycle will be longer than normal ( assuming 28-35 days for normal woman, so mine will maybe take a week more than this) this month, but I just don't know how long is 'long enough'. Should I continue to wait in uncertainty or to get some Duphaston from the clinic to stimulate the arrival of my period?
Well, as a PCOS patient, I am so used to irregular cycle, and most of my cycle are basically longer than 48 days. So, actually there is nothing unusual for me this month, isn't it? To a certain degree, the answer is yes. But, the problem is I have been experiencing quite a severe PMS (Premenstrual Syndrome) since the last 2.5 weeks. The symptoms includes lower abdominal pain, very sore breasts, extremely lethargic, frequent urination, feeling cold in a 30 degree Celcius room and feeling hungry in the middle of the night (even though I already gushed down milk or milo as prevention before sleeping ). Well, does all these sound like early pregnancy symptoms? Haha, I did a test at home a week ago, and as usual there was only one line appeared. So, the odd of pregnancy is totally out.
To fight the feeling of lethargic, I brisk walked and cycled for an hour in the gym at least 4 times a week, regarless how unwilling my heart was. At least, exercise made me feel fresh for half a day, and I also wanted to shed away all the fat that accumulated from all the mid night nibbling.
Everyday, I wish my period will come in order to chase away the PMS. I also experienced a lot of thick discharge. 4 days ago, I was happy when I saw there were some blood strings among the thick discharge as I thought this was the indication of the arrival of my period. But, nothing happen until now.
Yesterday, there was a sudden sharp pain on my right ovary, that lasted for maybe 1 to 2 seconds. Well, I am afraid that this is the sign of the return of ovary cyst.
Will make an appointment to see Dr. Prashant soon, at least to get some Duphaston, so I can 'jump out' from this grey phase! Also, if possible, to discuss the best timing to begin my 2nd IUI as I have to travel very frequent next month. So, timing is also a concern here. Finger crossed.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Update on My Post-IUI Cyst
Yesterday was day 18 of my cycle. I have an appointment with Dr. Prashant in the morning to check the condition of my 'post-IUI cyct'.
The finding of the transvaginal ultrasound was the cyst has shrunk by itself from 30mm to 10mm. Confidently, Doctor Prashant said that it will disappear by itself soon. Also, I was told that my period will come by itself, just that the cycle will be abit longer this time, probably 5 weeks. Yeah, no need to take Duphaston for this cycle!
I might not be able to understand the logic behind Dr. Prashant's prediction but somehow, I was relieved, as I have just gone back to my original shape (though not very shapely lah) after taking care of my diet and deligently visited the gym everyday after the 1st unsuccessful IUI. 'Drug free' means I do not need to face the awful bloating and lethargic feeling again, at least for this month.
To a certain extend, I still wish that I have the opportunity to become a mother. But there is really nothing much that I can do to guarantee the realization of my wish. Many say 'take it easy, it will come by itself if it meant to be'; many also say 'you have to keep thinking about it as per the theory of The Law of Attraction'.
So, what do I say? I have nothing to say. But I can tell you how I feel. As a woman, if you are sub fertility challenged, you should not confine yourself too much to the mindset of 'I must have baby, I must!'. You will push yourself to the brink of insanity if baby luck is not with you, and worst still, your neurotic expression will impose tremendous stress to the people around you. Be aware while you are treating subfertility, there are also beautiful worlds around you. Your career, you love ones, your hobbies, your current existing life! Savour them while you patiently wait for a miracle!
Total Expenses: No Charge.
The finding of the transvaginal ultrasound was the cyst has shrunk by itself from 30mm to 10mm. Confidently, Doctor Prashant said that it will disappear by itself soon. Also, I was told that my period will come by itself, just that the cycle will be abit longer this time, probably 5 weeks. Yeah, no need to take Duphaston for this cycle!
I might not be able to understand the logic behind Dr. Prashant's prediction but somehow, I was relieved, as I have just gone back to my original shape (though not very shapely lah) after taking care of my diet and deligently visited the gym everyday after the 1st unsuccessful IUI. 'Drug free' means I do not need to face the awful bloating and lethargic feeling again, at least for this month.
To a certain extend, I still wish that I have the opportunity to become a mother. But there is really nothing much that I can do to guarantee the realization of my wish. Many say 'take it easy, it will come by itself if it meant to be'; many also say 'you have to keep thinking about it as per the theory of The Law of Attraction'.
So, what do I say? I have nothing to say. But I can tell you how I feel. As a woman, if you are sub fertility challenged, you should not confine yourself too much to the mindset of 'I must have baby, I must!'. You will push yourself to the brink of insanity if baby luck is not with you, and worst still, your neurotic expression will impose tremendous stress to the people around you. Be aware while you are treating subfertility, there are also beautiful worlds around you. Your career, you love ones, your hobbies, your current existing life! Savour them while you patiently wait for a miracle!
Total Expenses: No Charge.
Monday, July 4, 2011
2nd IUI......On Hold
4 July 2011 (Mon)
Today marks the 3rd day of my period.
It was a beautiful Saturday when my period visited. However, it was awfully unbearable. I attended an event in the morning and the pain swarmed in when I went back home in the afternoon. I had a very bad stomach cramp until I could not even keep my body straight. I turned, rolled, curled on the bed, but there is no posture that could mitigate the pain. I remembered one of my friends told me that labour pain is a thousand times more painful than menstrual pain. If it really is, giving birth is truly an act of insanity! There was even a point that I wished that I could just pass out, just to escape from the pain. In fact, I did. With my palms holding my lower abdomen while I was still searching for the best posture, I fell asleep. The pain was all gone after 2 hours of deep sleep.
Well, with the arrival of my period, I went to Dr. Prashant’s clinic to see if it is possible to have my 2nd IUI today. Unfortunately, he found a big cyst ( I did not bother to know how big is it anymore) on my right ovary, the side that produced 2 big follicles last month. Due to this, I was told to take a break this month.
Having ovary cysts after IUI is pretty common. According to the doctor, ovaries always response by showing cysts after they were forcefully stimulated to produce eggs. All the extra follicles that one gets will increase the chance of getting cyst. When this happens, we let the ovaries rest and hopefully when we leave them alone, the cyst(s) will subside naturally too. Of course, the patient can be prescribed with medication to force the cysts to regress, but my doctor prefer to go with the natural way. I agreed with him. When someone is angry, leave him alone. This is simple theory.
So, am I upset to sit a month out? I thought I would. But, surprisingly, I am doing fine. I know that my ovaries have been working very hard. They deserve a good rest. My mind too. Keep thinking of all the treatments and forecasting the outcome is killing. This month, I am going to enjoy my work, my personal time and the quality time with my love ones.
You should not treat your life as incomplete, just because you are reproductive challenged. In fact, imperfection is part of the perfection of this universe. You own your life, you are responsible to make it beautiful and meaningful no matter what obstacle comes along.
Total Expenses: No charge
Today marks the 3rd day of my period.
It was a beautiful Saturday when my period visited. However, it was awfully unbearable. I attended an event in the morning and the pain swarmed in when I went back home in the afternoon. I had a very bad stomach cramp until I could not even keep my body straight. I turned, rolled, curled on the bed, but there is no posture that could mitigate the pain. I remembered one of my friends told me that labour pain is a thousand times more painful than menstrual pain. If it really is, giving birth is truly an act of insanity! There was even a point that I wished that I could just pass out, just to escape from the pain. In fact, I did. With my palms holding my lower abdomen while I was still searching for the best posture, I fell asleep. The pain was all gone after 2 hours of deep sleep.
Well, with the arrival of my period, I went to Dr. Prashant’s clinic to see if it is possible to have my 2nd IUI today. Unfortunately, he found a big cyst ( I did not bother to know how big is it anymore) on my right ovary, the side that produced 2 big follicles last month. Due to this, I was told to take a break this month.
Having ovary cysts after IUI is pretty common. According to the doctor, ovaries always response by showing cysts after they were forcefully stimulated to produce eggs. All the extra follicles that one gets will increase the chance of getting cyst. When this happens, we let the ovaries rest and hopefully when we leave them alone, the cyst(s) will subside naturally too. Of course, the patient can be prescribed with medication to force the cysts to regress, but my doctor prefer to go with the natural way. I agreed with him. When someone is angry, leave him alone. This is simple theory.
So, am I upset to sit a month out? I thought I would. But, surprisingly, I am doing fine. I know that my ovaries have been working very hard. They deserve a good rest. My mind too. Keep thinking of all the treatments and forecasting the outcome is killing. This month, I am going to enjoy my work, my personal time and the quality time with my love ones.
You should not treat your life as incomplete, just because you are reproductive challenged. In fact, imperfection is part of the perfection of this universe. You own your life, you are responsible to make it beautiful and meaningful no matter what obstacle comes along.
Total Expenses: No charge
Monday, June 27, 2011
1st IUI - BFN
A picture paints a thousand words.
![]()
This is the result of my 1st IUI, photo was taken this morning, 15 days after the IUI.
Well, I sort of knew that the result will be BFN (Big Fat Negative) as I am experiencing a very bad PMS. Not only my stomach is growling, I am also swarmed with fatigue and feeling very bloated. I also have to constantly observe and remind myself to stay positive as negative feelings will just flood in whenever there is a slight grey feeling coming to mind. I guess I have to endure these for a few more days until my period comes. My period would not come until I finish the Duphaston supply, another 3 days to go.
Other than the weigh gain, the ovary pain and the PMS, IUI makes you a stronger person.
Looking forward to the next IUI cycle.
This is the result of my 1st IUI, photo was taken this morning, 15 days after the IUI.
Well, I sort of knew that the result will be BFN (Big Fat Negative) as I am experiencing a very bad PMS. Not only my stomach is growling, I am also swarmed with fatigue and feeling very bloated. I also have to constantly observe and remind myself to stay positive as negative feelings will just flood in whenever there is a slight grey feeling coming to mind. I guess I have to endure these for a few more days until my period comes. My period would not come until I finish the Duphaston supply, another 3 days to go.
Other than the weigh gain, the ovary pain and the PMS, IUI makes you a stronger person.
Looking forward to the next IUI cycle.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
1st IUI - 11th Day Post IUI
Not yet, I have not done any pregnancy test yet. My doctor told me to perform the home pregnancy test next Monday, so I decided to be an obedient patient. Indeed, I guess it is my subconcious mind that want me to be patient. At least I still have a few more days to remain hopeful if the end result is not desirable.
The pain, mainly on my right ovary that started 3 days after the IUI and reaches its peak 6 days after the pain started, finally subsided yesterday (10 days post IUI). Technically, I cannot categorize it as 'pain'. The feeling is more like a sense of constant tension and tightness, that causes discomfort when you move your body. It is very different from the pain that caused by PMS (Prementrual Syndrome).
Although the findings from the Internet shows that it is not unusual for women to experience ovary pain after IUI, I still called up the clinic to check if this is really normal and most importantly how long will it take to subside. The nurse replied that it is normal to feel some pain due to the enlarged ovaries and the pain usually subsides after 2 days since the pain begins. So, I suspected my ovaries were really very swollen since the pain took more than 2 days to subside. Due to the discomfort, I have since stopped my regular exercise routine. I also noticed that I have gained quite a bit around the waisteline. Trousers that used to be loose can now be nicely fitted. This is definitely not a good news if I am not pregnant.
Well, after the ovary pain subsided, I started to have the familiar PMS feeling. On and off, there will be some abdominal cramp. My left calf also have the 'wanting to cramp' feeling, just I do not know when it will cramp for real. Of course, if you ask me, I definitely do not want to take these as the indications of the period is coming. But this is really something that beyond my control.
Maybe I should be more relax and not to be so neurotic in observing every changes in my body.
Well, if the period comes, welcome it!
If I hit the jackpot next Monday, celebrate it!
Either way, life goes on!
The pain, mainly on my right ovary that started 3 days after the IUI and reaches its peak 6 days after the pain started, finally subsided yesterday (10 days post IUI). Technically, I cannot categorize it as 'pain'. The feeling is more like a sense of constant tension and tightness, that causes discomfort when you move your body. It is very different from the pain that caused by PMS (Prementrual Syndrome).
Although the findings from the Internet shows that it is not unusual for women to experience ovary pain after IUI, I still called up the clinic to check if this is really normal and most importantly how long will it take to subside. The nurse replied that it is normal to feel some pain due to the enlarged ovaries and the pain usually subsides after 2 days since the pain begins. So, I suspected my ovaries were really very swollen since the pain took more than 2 days to subside. Due to the discomfort, I have since stopped my regular exercise routine. I also noticed that I have gained quite a bit around the waisteline. Trousers that used to be loose can now be nicely fitted. This is definitely not a good news if I am not pregnant.
Well, after the ovary pain subsided, I started to have the familiar PMS feeling. On and off, there will be some abdominal cramp. My left calf also have the 'wanting to cramp' feeling, just I do not know when it will cramp for real. Of course, if you ask me, I definitely do not want to take these as the indications of the period is coming. But this is really something that beyond my control.
Maybe I should be more relax and not to be so neurotic in observing every changes in my body.
Well, if the period comes, welcome it!
If I hit the jackpot next Monday, celebrate it!
Either way, life goes on!
Saturday, June 18, 2011
1st IUI - 6th Day Post IUI
2011.06.18 (Saturday)
Today is the 6th day after the IUI (procedure was done on Monday 13 June). I have been feeling some pain on my right ovary since Wednesday (2 days after my IUI). It started as a mild pinch that occur occasionally. I didn't bother about it as I have been busy at work.
The doctor said there is no 'pantang' after IUI. I can eat, exercise and work as usual. The only thing that I have to avoid is caffeine. I am fine with this as I don't drink coffee due to pulpilation after drinking it. Well, I did take a short distance flight to Alor Star for a job assignment on Wednesday. I have also conducted an interview that took place in the forest of FRIM (Forest Reserve Institute of Malaysia) where the shooting team have to do a bit of hiking to reach the shooting point. Since I exercise quite regularly, I don't think that the discomfort was caused by the hike. However, the painful twinges has become more and more obvious since this morning. I felt it more whenever I laugh. I even began to suspect if it was a sign of ectopic pregnancy. But this is far too early to happen! Touch wood!
Having done some survey on the Internet, I felt more relieved because I am not the only one who experience ovary pain after the procedure of IUI. Some even experienced more severe symptoms like sore and sensitive breasts. Phew! What I have been experiencing was considered mild.
So what is the cause of the pain I am feeling? It is the side effect of overstimulating your ovaries to produce eggs. The pain happens mostly after the ovulation. If the ovulation is triggered by HCG injection, the pain might be more serious.
Well, how can I treat it like nothing happen after taking medication and injection to stimulate my ovaries? There is a lot of activities happening inside there. So, ovaries have the right to show their trantrum too!
Today is the 6th day after the IUI (procedure was done on Monday 13 June). I have been feeling some pain on my right ovary since Wednesday (2 days after my IUI). It started as a mild pinch that occur occasionally. I didn't bother about it as I have been busy at work.
The doctor said there is no 'pantang' after IUI. I can eat, exercise and work as usual. The only thing that I have to avoid is caffeine. I am fine with this as I don't drink coffee due to pulpilation after drinking it. Well, I did take a short distance flight to Alor Star for a job assignment on Wednesday. I have also conducted an interview that took place in the forest of FRIM (Forest Reserve Institute of Malaysia) where the shooting team have to do a bit of hiking to reach the shooting point. Since I exercise quite regularly, I don't think that the discomfort was caused by the hike. However, the painful twinges has become more and more obvious since this morning. I felt it more whenever I laugh. I even began to suspect if it was a sign of ectopic pregnancy. But this is far too early to happen! Touch wood!
Having done some survey on the Internet, I felt more relieved because I am not the only one who experience ovary pain after the procedure of IUI. Some even experienced more severe symptoms like sore and sensitive breasts. Phew! What I have been experiencing was considered mild.
So what is the cause of the pain I am feeling? It is the side effect of overstimulating your ovaries to produce eggs. The pain happens mostly after the ovulation. If the ovulation is triggered by HCG injection, the pain might be more serious.
Well, how can I treat it like nothing happen after taking medication and injection to stimulate my ovaries? There is a lot of activities happening inside there. So, ovaries have the right to show their trantrum too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)