So long......Thank you

It has been so long since my last post. Being a mother of 2 little boys below 3 years old is definitely very challenging.

Here's some updates of my motherhood life especially on my personal lifestyle and breastfeeding journey.

Personal Lifestyle:
There was no more 'me' time available for myself. Latching, pumping, cooking and cleaning have occupied my entire life. I have learned how to take speedy bath and gobbling down food without tasting them. I have even forgotten what were my hobbies. Hair-do, facial treatment and shopping for new clothes were put aside for a very long time until last month I accidentally looked into the mirror and had a big wake-up call. Despite already gaining back my pre-pregnancy weight, my body just didn't look fit. Enlarged breasts (thanks to breastfeeding), flabby arms, bulging tummy and shaggy hips accompanied by a pairs of dark-circled panda eyes on a no longer v-shaped pale face...... Yes, I told myself firmly that it is time to reduce the level of  'selfless' spirit to the family.  I have to learn to be selfish again in order to have more time to take care of my physical and mental health.  This is not just for myself, but also for my husband and boys. They deserve a glowing fit looking wife and mum!

Breastfeeding:
I manage to fully breastfeed Lucas since he was 3 months old. The first two months were full of obstacles. First of all, I had a confinement lady who kept telling me that I didn't have enough milk and always quietly 'took' away my baby to feed him with formula milk.

I waited until the confinement period was over before trying like mad people to direct latch my baby day and night, hoping to be able to convert the feeding mode from 'semi breastfeed' to 'fully breastfeed'. I achieved my goal when Lucas turned 3 months old.

While most breastfeeding mother skip their menstrual cycle, I had period everyday until Lucas was 15 weeks old. With the constant blood lost, I was already at the brink of deciding if I should stop breastfeeding. However,  I eventually decided to hypnotise myself everyday to try to breastfeed him for one more day.  On one fine day,  my body finally gave in to my determination to fully breastfeed. Ever since, those 'bloody days' had halted until today.

Lucas, is definitely luckier than his big brother, Jaden, whom I barely breastfeed for 4 months due to lacking of breastfeeding knowledge and also some hormonal issue.  I just hope that the benefits of breast milk would pay off to make Lucas a stronger and healthier boy.

Converting my working mode to work from home gave me the luxury to direct latch my baby boy all day long. Well, while direct latching gave me the convenience of no bottle to wash, no milk to heat and no left over feed but I have definitely overlooked the attachment of  direct latching babies towards their mothers ( or to be more direct, the pair of milky boobs).

Lucas is the koala that hangs himself full time on the tree, of course with me be the tree. You may ask, doesn't he take nap?  Hmm...he is a light sleeper that his napping time doesn't last any longer than 45 minutes. The worst thing is he has developed the habit of comfort latching in order to fall asleep. Every night, he practically falls asleep with the nipple in his mouth, then rolls away from me to continue sleeping for say an hour or two at most. Rolling back again to search for the teats, begin sucking then roll away.....The routine goes on for the rest of the night. The result? I am constantly in sleep deprived mode.

To break his addictive routine, we have tried having me sleeping in the guest rooms while Bernard takes care of him at night. The baby would wake up for milk (bottle feed), but as soon as he emptied the bottle he started to cry his lungs out  for the next ten fifteen minutes until the teats couldn't stand it but move back to co-sleep with him.

Lucas is turning 9 months old tomorrow. Hopefully,by the time he celebrates his 1st birthday, both mother and baby would achieve consensus on the weaning terms. I am longing for the days when I could feel myself again as an independent entity, that could live without thinking about milk in my boobs anymore.

Lastly, this post shall be my last post for this blog. This blog was mainly created to record my fertility journey. With some minor hiccups in the journey, Bernard and I used to think we will grow old together without having any kid. But life has been very kind to us,  we now have two little boys producing endless noise (and laughter too!)  in our used to be quiet home. Thus, if I continue to write in this blog, it will become a parenting blog instead, which swayed away from its original intention. I have hence decided to call it an end here. For those who could read Chinese (in English, occasionally), you may follow the updates of my life in my other blog,  Mirabel Garden.

Thank you for accompanying me throughout the journey to become a mother. If you are still thriving to become one, remember to continue inculcate joy and fun in your life, while making sure you are guided by certified fertility professionals along the journey.  I believe the next angel will knock at your door soon! Good luck!

I

Postnatal - Day 72

Baby Lucas is 72 days old today. Things have been going smoothly so far, except for some hiccups in the early weeks when the baby was awake throughout the nights. Not only showing tantrum for constant cuddles, he also cried out loud whenever we turned off the light. It was truly a nightmare for me. As a result of lacking of sleep, I became an emotional zombie in the day. Luckily, the 'dark era' only lasted for about 3 weeks (but it definitely sounds like forever to me during that time!). Now, he can practically sleep through the night (touch wood!). In the contrary, I am the one who wake him up in the middle of the night due to breasts engorgement.

Jaundice

Lucas did not suffer from jaundice. We were so prepared that he would suffer from jaundice as Jaden had jaundice before and nurses in the hospital also jokingly told me that out of 10 babies, 10 of them will suffer from jaundice nowadays. I have not done anything special to prevent jaundice from happening. If you said that drinking young coconut water helps, then I did drink 2 to 3 times of young coconuts water during the 3rd trimester of pregnancy. But, I can tell you that I did the same thing too when I was pregnant with Jaden. So, I cannot conclude that young coconut water helps to reduce or prevent jaundice. 

Breastfeeding

I definitely do better this round if compared to my 1st pregnancy, although Lucas is not fully breastfed. Out of 8 feeds in the day, 6 feeds will be breast milk and the remains are supplemented by formula milk. I am satisfied with the result and will continue to breastfeed as long as my supply is available.  Breastfeeding is supposed to be an enjoyable journey, if you have tried your very best and still unable to breastfeed your baby, please remember that feeding your baby formula milk does not make you an evil mother! But, this does not apply to those mothers who have milk but choose not to breastfeed their babies due to convenience sake. 

Constant latching or pumping diligently are the only ways to boost breast milk, and these definitely need high level of discipline and determination. Also, to produce milk, one needs to drink a lot of water and soup (total of about 3 litres of fluid) on daily basis and get reasonable rest (it is easy to say but definitely extremely hard to practise when you are taking care of a new born!).  Even though I am able to produce more milk this round, but my hormone has gone hay wired. I bleed every day, to the extent that I can't figure out whether it was menstrual bleeding or postnatal discharge. After a detail internal checking and pap smear screening, nothing wrong was found, thus it was concluded that my condition was hormonal. Doctor has advised me that as long as I continue to breastfeed, I will most probably experience the same condition. Hormone pills can be prescribed to ease the condition, but I have chosen not to take any medication at this point of time. Please let me know if you share the same experience. 

Lifestyle changes

With a new baby around, parents like me and hubby, who do not have assistance from extended family or maids are meant to sacrifice our personal time. just imagine how busy are we to have a terrible two and a new born at the same time. The good thing is I have gained 18kg throughout my 2nd pregnancy, and at this point of writing I only have another 3 kg to shed (don't forget that I have PCOS and it took longer for me to lose weight). I can also fit into all my pre-pregnancy jeans after my confinement; this is so far the greatest reward that happen to me. I remember during my first pregnancy, it took me 18 months to fit into those jeans!     

Baby Lucas at week-8, 6.6 kg

The Arrival of 2nd Miracle

Dear readers,

I have safely delivered my 2nd baby boy, Lucas Tan on October 1, 2014 (Wednesday). I am currently in my confinement period, thus will only briefly record the labour milestones as below.

30 Sep 2014 (Tue)
Day time
Have been feeling some degree of irregular mild cramp on the tummy throughout the day. A small amount of blood strain continued to appear whenever I went to the toilet. In addition, I also had the feeling of wanting to pass motion the whole day, but nothing came out no matter how many times I had tried. Despite feeling uneasy, I did not dare to contact my gynae or plan to go to the hospital as I really did not feel any regular contraction yet, just in case what I felt was another false alarm like what had happened on 23 Sep. I had instead diverted my focus by doing some house chores like sweeping  and mopping the whole house just to make sure that the house was in order to welcome the new baby.

11:00 PM
Hubby asked if  can send Jaden to the school the next morning as he had an appointment in the heart of KL in the early morning. I said yes, but jokingly told him that he might not be able to make it to that meeting for I suspected he might need to send me to the hospital by then. I went to bed after that.

1 Oct 2014 (Wed)
12:00 AM
Woke up with a sharp pain in the tummy. The feeling was like someone had used all his strength to pinch my lower abdomen. Not sure if that was the feeling of contraction as again, it did not come back at regular interval. Somehow deep in my heart, I knew that was the beginning of a series of more serious contraction. I informed my hubby who was still awake at that time to  go to bed earlier because I planned to go to the hospital at 6am. I had also made a phone call to my younger sister, who had just moved to the neighbourhood a few months ago to come to my house by 6am to take care of Jaden while my hubby and I were away at the hospital. Everyone went back to sleep after that.

03:50 AM
Another round of sharp pain kicked in. I woke up to go to the loo. More blood strain were seen this time. I started to count the interval and the duration of each contraction. There were none that I can feel of for the next 10 minutes. So, according to information obtained from the Internet, labour is only near when 5-1-1 rule kicks in. Thus,  I believe I was not even near to the labour. (5-1-1 rule: Each contraction lasts for at least 1 minute, happens at an interval of  every 5 minutes, for at least  a period of an hour).

04:00 AM
I heard a sound of 'Pop', and instantly a stream of lukewarm liquid flowed out from my vaginal. Great! This was the obvious sign that I was familiar and confident of. In my first pregnancy, my water bag broke and Jaden was born after 20 hours! No more further guessing or false alarm this time!

I told my hubby that we need to go to the hospital now. Also called my sister to request her to come to my house immediately to look after Jaden, who was sleeping soundly.

I quickly took a hot shower while hubby got all the hospital bags into the car. I had also notified Dr. Paul through WhatsApp about my condition. I did not call him directly as it was 4AM and I thought baby would take at least another few more hours to arrive. I trusted that the nurses would know how to do an initial checking and would decide when to contact the doctor when I reached the hospital.

04:30 AM
We left the house after my sister arrived. I experienced 2 painful contraction at NKVE and Federal Highway. Hubby was under tremendous stress to see me holding tightly to the safety belt while curling my body on the seat. I was unable to walk by myself already by the time our car arrived at the emergency counter of the hospital. The hospital staff  quickly wheeled me up to the labour ward while my hubby parked his car.

05:00 AM
I shouted for Epidural to the nurse when I entered the main entrance of the labour ward. 3 alert nurses rushed me straight to the bed of one of the labour room.  After experienced the raw pain of natural delivery during my first labour merely 2 years ago, I was so determined to get an Epidural since week-16 of my 2nd pregnancy and had ever since reminded Dr. Paul many times about that. He kept telling me he had recorded my request, and promised that I would definitely get what I want if I don't drag too long to come to the hospital for labour.

A senior Indian nurse quickly did an internal check on me and told me my cervix had already opened 7cm. She advised me that there was no need to get an Epidural at that point as labour had begun and she expected my baby will be out before 6AM. She even said " You can save the RM 1,000, baby is coming out soon, you just need to endure a little while."

After hearing that I could not get an Epidural and have to go through one more round of the utmost labour pain, I 'automatically' dropped my tear without I realizing. Hubby, who was already by my side at that time was reluctant to see me in tears. He begged the nurse to call the anesthesiologist to check whether it was still in time to come in to perform the procedure.  Again, the nurse firmly said that I would only 'enjoy' the effect of Epidural only after I delivered, so there was really no point to waste the money.

"Oh my goodness! Please don't talk about saving money with me at this point of time. I feel like dying now! I want to pass motion now!" I shouted viciously in my heart.

"Dr. Paul is already on the way, let me checked your cervix again." The nurse said.

I thought she had just checked me 5 minutes ago? Why checking again? Please go and arrange the epidural!

"You are already 9.5cm dilated! Baby will be out soon. Don't push, don't push, Dr.Paul is coming" I was shocked with her answer. Why everything was going so fast? Was I dreaming?

"I want to pass motion, I cannot hold it anymore!". Knowing that I would feel embarrassed to pass motion on the bed during labour, I requested to be taken to the toilet.

"The baby is coming out, that is why you are feeling like passing motion. Can you still hold? Otherwise you just push!" The nurse finally had some mercy to ask me to push the baby before the Doctor arrived.

I just know that, there were 3 or 4 nurses running in and out of the labour room to perform the last minute preparation. Hubby held my hand tightly each time the 'ultimate' contraction kicked in.

In the delusional stage, I heard Dr. Paul coming in to the labour room. He greeted my husband and me. Sorry doctor, call me no manners, but I cannot respond to your greetings at this point of breaking down!

The next few minutes was all about taking deep breath and pushing. I knew I did better this time compared to my first labour. I knew how to hold my breath longer and push longer during each contraction. Unfortunately after a few round of pushing, baby Lucas, having the same fate as his elder brother, experienced distress with low heart beat. With the umbilical cord strapped around the baby shoulder, he had to be assisted by a vacuum to come out from the birth canal.

5:30 AM
The baby was out with a loud cry! Everything was over, without Epidural. Well, the nurse was right, I had managed to save RM 1,000.

Overall, I have a smooth and speedy delivery. No episiotomy this time. Only a few stitches were performed on some minor tears.

Stitches were performed while the baby was on my chest

10:30 AM
We were sent to a twin sharing ward while on the waiting list for a single room.

6:00 PM
We finally moved to a comfortable single room, which was not just more spacious but also with more privacy that allowed us to have a good rest.

2 Oct 2014
Baby and mummy were discharged in the afternoon.  Overall, I felt like I had gone for a vacation with my hubby and brought back a precious gift after the vacation.

baby Lucas, birth weight 3.3kg

Overall charges for baby and mummy: RM4,700

Conclusion
My hubby and I are very grateful to have our 2nd miracle baby joining our family. We used to think that we might not have our own kid, but things are totally different now.

We would like to express our gratitude to Dr. Paul Ng and the dedicated team at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Last but not least, Dr. Prashant, who have guided me through my first trimester safely. He was also the man who told me that I do not need an IVF while the whole world told me that IVF was my last resort to have my own baby.

Due or No Due?

Today marks the 39 weeks of my pregnancy. The baby has not arrived yet. Jaden was born in week 38, thus preparation was made earlier too for baby No.2, just in case he follows the footstep of his elder brother.

Overall, I adapt better in this 2nd pregnancy. Water retention only kicks in in week-38 and tingling and numbness on the fingers only mildly felt since yesterday (severe water retention and Carpal Tunnel syndrome kicked in as early as week 24 in my first pregnancy).

24 Sep, 2014 (Wednesday)
It was 7.30 am in the morning when I woke up. Jaden was still sleeping soundly while hubby has gone to work as early as 7am for an important meeting in the heart of KL. Whenever hubby needs to go out early, sending Jaden to the daycare will be my responsibility.

I noticed there were some blood strains in my discharge. Was this a bloody show? I did not know, as the labour symptom was much clearer during my first pregnancy while my water bag broke. I straight away decided to have a quick shower and wash my hair, just in case I will be admitted soon.

By 8.am, I came out from the shower, Jaden was already half awake. I passed him his milk bottle and he finished his 'breakfast' shortly. While I tried to put his uniform on him, he refused by putting his both arms tightly to his body, preventing me from removing his pyjamas. After fighting with him by pulling his arms forcefully, I managed to put on his shirt, but not his shorts. I was all sweaty at that moment while he continued to cry out loud saying "I don't want......."  Decided to give him a break to soothe himself, I sat aside to blow dry my thick hair. By the time I finish blowing my hair, he was calmed down and allowed me put on his shorts.

I checked myself in the toilet again, there were more blood strains accompanied by very mild eeling of period cramp.

At 8.50am, after sending Jaden off to the daycare, I texted Dr. Paul to ask for advice. There was no reply from him thus by 9am, I called up his clinic to ask the nurses for opinion.  I was told that Dr. Paul was in the labour room, they will convey my message to the doctor as soon as they see him.

By 9.30am, I received a reply from Dr. Paul asking if the baby was still active and if there was any contraction. The blood strain might be one of the early symptoms of labour, but it might also take a few more days until the real labour begins. To be safe, I could do a tracing in the labour ward to track the contraction level.

My sister, who has been contacted earlier, picked me up from my house at 10:30 am. By the time I reached the delivery suite at the hospital, it was already 11:30am. Receiving the instruction earlier from Dr. Paul's clinic, a Chinese nurse, who looked like she was not in a good mood led me to a labour ward and started the tracing process. A sensor that connected to the tracing machine was put on my big tummy.  I was told that she will come back after 30 minutes to collect the tracing result. Before she left, I asked if the baby's heart beat is fine and if the other reading on the machine indicating the contraction level, she firmly replied that "I told you I need 30 minutes to monitor". All right, it is not an obligation for everyone to be in a good mood and to show me his or her friendly face, maybe she was just having a bad day. My sister was not allowed to enter the delivery suite thus I ask her to go home once my hubby has arrived. My hubby arrived shortly after and moved all my hospital and baby bags from my sister's car to his car.

After 30 minutes, the nurse came in and told me that she would do an internal checking on me. Seriously, I hated internal checking where fingers were inserted deep inside the vaginal to check the opening of the cervix. Indeed, it was another painful experience. She did not tell me the result after the checking so I decided to be thick skin to ask her was my cervix open? If it did, how many centimetre was that?

"It is open, but since this is your second baby, it would not be closed. Your cervix is still very thick and deep in, it will take time to become thin and come closer to the surface". Well, obviously I was not told how many centimetre has my cervix opened. She then told me she would call up the doctor's clinic to inform him the outcome. She then tore the paper that has recorded the tracing result for the past 30 minutes and left the room. 10 minutes later, the nurse came back and asked me whether I want to wait in the hospital or go home. Huh!?On what basis should I make a decision?

"So, what is the situation now? Am I in labour or not yet? What was the tracing result?" I asked what I thought might help me to get some answers (at least some hints) in order to reply her earlier question.

"Well, baby's heart rate is good, you have some degree of contraction, but it was not consistent and strong enough to trigger the active labour process. So, looks like it might take some time, maybe up to 2 days ". Good, this is the kind of answer that will help me to decide.

"Then I would like to go home and wait for more obvious contraction. By the way, I have a follow up appointment set for tomorrow, do I still need to come back for check-up?"

"Why you didn't tell me earlier? Now I have to call Dr. Paul's clinic again." Obviously, she was very annoyed.

"It's OK, I can call the clinic myself. Thank you." I don't think calling the clinic by myself is a problem at all.

"Oklah, I go and call now, you wait here, my staff will come to send you down, for payment."

At the end, I was told that I still have to come back to see Dr. Paul for consultation the next day.

Tracing fees: RM 150


25 Sep 2014 (Thursday)
There was no obvious changes to my condition. I still saw blood strains in my discharge. The only difference was there was some degree of non-consistent mild contraction, which each contraction only lasted for 15 to 30 seconds at an interval of 30 minutes.

Hubby and I reached Dr. Paul's clinic at 9:30 am and was told that the doctor was in the labour room again.  Luckily I didn't need to wait for too long this round. It was my turn for consultation at 10:30 am. The baby's heart rate was good and he has also positioned himself well for labour process. The head has engaged nicely close to the cervix, with his body facing upright to my chest and his face facing my back. The verdict was ---wait for more strong and frequent contraction OR heavier bloody show OR the rupture of water bag. Another follow up check-up was set on next Thursday, a day before the baby's due date which is on 3 Oct. The doctor predicted that I would not be able to make it for the next check-up as he feels that the baby is coming soon!

I hope there is no more false alarm and the baby can arrive safe and sound.

Till then.

Consultation and ultrasound fees: RM105

P/S: If it were not for this round's false alarm, I don't think I will bother to read more about what is real labour's contraction. Found this articles about 5-1-1 rules for timing contraction very useful for mother-to-be to identify what real contraction is, as compared to 'period-like cramp' and Braxton Hicks. Well, now I have a better idea about the theory, let's pray I can practise it well!

1st V.S. 2nd Pregnancy

As the fitness level and age changes, a same woman may experience differently for each of her pregnancy. Hence, I have decided to compare my two pregnancy experience in this post. Initially, I would like to use a table form to list down the comparison.  However, after a few attempts, I have no choice but to give up in searching for the way to list the comparison in table form by using Blogger. Instead, I have sorted out to use different colors to indicate the comparison. Please note that:

Blue is used to indicate 1st pregnancy 

Green is used to indicate 2nd pregnancy

1. Baby Gender / Type of conception

• Boy / Spontaneous pregnancy
• Boy / Spontaneous pregnancy

2. Morning Sickness

• Terrible morning sickness began as early as week-8. Nausea became more severe after sun set. Ceased at week-15. Appetite improved ever since.
• Terrible morning sickness began as early as week-8. Whole day long nausea. Ceased at week -15. Generally, I have no appetite and have no craving for any particular food. 

3. Hair Condition

• No hair fall was experienced. However, since the very early weeks, my hair had become unusually greasy, all the way until after delivery.
• Excessive hair fall until week-16. Luckily it stopped ever since. Hair is generally dry, brittle and lighter in colour (my dark brown virgin hair looks like has been dyed in maroon color). 

4. Gynae

• Dr. Paul Ng Hock Oon at Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur. Waiting time for each check-up routine was only between 15 to 30 minutes, even though year 2012 was the year of Dragon, an auspicious year where most Chinese would prefer to deliver their babies according to the Chinese belief.
• I am still visiting the same gynae. The only difference is the waiting time for each check-up routine has increased to between 90 minutes to 2 hours. However, this does not affect his level of patience and friendliness. 

5. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS)

1. CTS is caused by a build-up of fluid, called oedema, in the tissues. The swelling places pressure on the median nerve, compressing it and causing tingling and numbness in your hands and fingers. Carpal tunnel syndrome is fairly common in pregnancy. (Source: BabyCentre)

• Suffered from CTS and experienced pain, tingling and numbness on fingers and palms as early as week-24. It was difficult for me to even hold a pen for writing. Sensation subsided about a week after delivery.
• Do not experience it yet till date (week-32). Touch wood......!

6. Oedema / Water retention

• Water retention on Feet, ankles, calves, hands and face begin as early as week-24
• No obvious water retention on body parts except having enlarged nose since week-30.

7. Weight Gain

• Put on a total of 18 kg throughout the entire pregnancy. 
• Have so far put on 10kg (week-32). Finger crossed that the final weight gain will not 'emulate' the first pregnancy's 

8. Exercise Routine

• No exercise routine except during baby product shopping.
• Begin to swim twice a week, each time 30 minutes, since week-22. This might be the good reason that has saved me from suffering from item #1 and #2. 

9. Foetal movement

• Began at week-19
• Began at week-18
• After experiencing the foetal movement of my 2nd baby, I finally realize how gentle my first baby was. The 2nd baby was very aggressive. He somersaults and stretches very frequently especially at night, causing me many sleepless nights, on top of the already frequent visit to the loo. His stretches and kicks sometimes hurt my ribs so much. There were also a few occasions that I felt that he tends to use his arms or feet to pierce through my waist! I will surely give him a sound pat on his buttock when I first see him, as the punishment for being so rough to the mother!  

10. Fatigue

• Although feeling tired physically, I remembered I generally felt blessed and happy each day as I only manage to conceive in the 6th year of my marriage. 
• Since I have to take care of Jaden at the same time, I am obviously physically more tired than the 1st pregnancy. Despite feeling blessed with another child in life, sometimes I feel worried about how am I going to handle two babies at the same time in the very near future, especially after knowing what to expect during the first few months after the 2nd baby is delivered. There will be at least another year of interrupted sleep at night lying ahead. Anyway, time will pass, kids will grow, I will be ALL RIGHT!

Mr. I Don't Want

Dear Jaden,

It has been 2 weeks since you have diagnosed with HFMD (Hand Foot and Mouth Disease). It all started with a text message that mommy received from your nursery in a late afternoon.

I was told that you have high fever at 39.6 degree Celsius. Teachers were trying to wipe off your body heat with wet towels. By the time mommy rushed to the nursery, your temperature was already down to 37.5. You looked particularly happy to see me. You smiled and waved to me. I even doubted if you were really sick.

There were three teachers gathered around you to show me the little red spots on your palms and soles. They also told me that you refused to eat and drink for the whole day, probably due to the pain caused by the blisters in the mouth. Before I even asked if you were the first kid in the nursery to have this condition, your teachers quickly told me that there was no case of HFMD in the centre prior to your situation. They are really scared that mommy blamed the centre on spreading the endemic disease to you. What has done is done, there is no point for mommy to trace and dig whose fault was it after all. What I needed to do was to bring you to the doctor to confirm your situation.

You cried very loudly as usual when we were at the neighbourhood clinic. The nurse used all kinds of story books and toys to distract your attention but her effort was in vain. Dr. Yew confirmed your condition as HFMD. Mommy was told you have to depend on your own immune system to get rid of the virus from your system. Meanwhile, Paracetamol and a mild antibiotic were prescribed to control your situation. From mommy's experience, Dr. Yew never likes to prescribe antibiotic to child patients. However, this time it was needed to prevent the blister from spreading to a more serious degree. Also, mommy was having your 7 months' old little brother in the tummy, although HFMD does not normally spread to adult, but doctor just wanted to be extra careful after knowing that mommy would be the one who would be taking care of you at home for the next one week.

Red spots and blisters on Jaden's sole

Red spots on Jaden's knee.

"I don't want " was the most used phrase throughout your next 1 week quarantine period. For the first 2 days, you just could not eat anything. Aside from milk, Mommy had prepared porridge, macaroni, bread with jam, pau, chiffon cake, fruit juice, yogurt...all kind of 'soft' food that I hoped you would at least eat a bit. Unfortunately you cried and shouted "I don't want' every time you tried to eat some food. Poor kid, the ulcer in your mouth must be killing you. You practically just fed on slightly sweetened 'chrysanthemum tea' that mommy boiled for you every day. You even have nightmare a few times during the night. You cried and yelled "I don't want". When we were hesitating whether to send you to the hospital to put you on drips, your grandmother suggested that we fed you some premium quality ice cream. Yes, this was extremely effective, ever since, you kept asking for ice cream almost for every meal. Of course, mommy had also slowly added in bread, pau and even some rice into your ice cream. You did not even mind to swallow them together!

On the 4th day, your condition began to improve. You began to become a very adorable toddler. You talked, sang and smiled a lot. You slept soundly too, you even woke up as late as 10 in the morning with a sunshine smile. This was very uncommon on those normal days where you need to wake up early to go to the nursery. I remembered you were always very moody and quiet.

Your appetite had improved as well. Be it rice with chicken soup, porridge with fried fish or even your ordinary formula milk, you were able to finish them without much persuasion.

Crossing his legs while drinking milk

Enjoying home baked banana cake

Playing 'fighting game' happily with Papa, marked that you have recovered.

Playing his favourite block

On the fifth days, mommy began to prepare you mentally that you are going back to the nursery on the following week. You cried and said "I don't want" every time mommy mentioned it to you.  I remembered 2 days before you officially went back to the nursery, mommy had to drop by your nursery to bring back your blanket and comforter for washing.  Upon reaching the nursery,  you, who were sitting at the back seat start crying hysterically and shouted your favourite "I don't want".

Your school was closed down for 5 days for high dosage spring cleaning after 4 other kids in your class were diagnosed with HFMD.  A letter from doctor was needed to prove that you have fully recovered before you were accepted back to the school.

Mommy had a hard time persuaded and  sweet talked to you on the first day you returned to school. You refused to put on the uniform. "I don't want........." was heard throughout the whole morning. Papa had to practically carry and drag you, the crying baby into the car. It took mommy and Papa another 4 days to send you to the school without needing having a morning circus at home.

One more week passed by, you now do not shout for "I don't want" anymore. You seem once again accepted that attending the nursery from 8AM to 5.30 PM for 5 days a week as part of your fate. Meanwhile, you have also lost the shine in your eyes, as well as the cheerfulness from within, that mommy had witnessed while you were 'quarantined' at home. At merely 2 years old, your little heart must have already knew the answer whenever it whispered "what choice do I have?".

Looking at your tiny face, Mommy's heart is bleeding quietly too. Both your papa and mommy are working. We are reluctant to get a maid and leave you and your future little brother at home with the maid in the day time. Mommy is also asking the same question as you do. "What choice do I have?"

Mommy promise you, things will change and improve, slightly if not entirely in the very near future. Mommy will be able to spend more time to care and play with you.

Love you with all my heart,
Mommy

Week 21 - Structural Scan

At week 21, I have scheduled a structural scan session with Dr. Patrick Chia at FMGC (Fetal Medicine & Gynaecology Centre at Jaya One, Petaling Jaya). This detailed scan took about 20 minutes to thoroughly scan through the main organs of the baby, just to make sure there is no abnormality in terms of functions as well as appearance.

In fact, this scan was optional since my fetus has passed the 1st trimester screening at week -12 with low risk. However, my heart could not be 'set free' whenever I recalled the long list of medicine that I have taken just days before I found out that I was pregnant. (You may read more about my preceding story here.) My gynae, Dr. Paul Ng (Pantai Hospital Kuala Lumpur) has suggested me to undergo this scan just to find out the truth, as keep worrying about the baby throughout the pregnancy has no benefit at all, to both the baby and mother.

My husband and I reached FMGC at 9:20 AM on a working day. We were told that the waiting time is about 90 minutes as we are patient number 6 while Dr. Patrick was just about to attend to patient number 2. We were called in at about 11am. As usual, the soft spoken Dr. Patrick greeted and chatted with us for a couple of minutes, before he began to perform the scan. You will never feel that you were being 'rushed' through the session even though there was still quite a long queue outside of his consultation room.

First of all, the doctor 'helped' us to confirm the gender of the baby. This time, without much effort, the baby generously showed us his weapons......yes, we are having another boy! Of course, the perfect scenario is to get a girl to complete the 'set'. However, just barely 7 years ago, we thought we will be childless, isn't it already a great blessing to be able to have 2 children now? So, who cares about the gender? Health comes first. Nevertheless, we knew that both of us have to really be fit enough to be able to chase after 2 active little men in the very near future.

This scan had also showcased that the baby is doing well. The following were visualized and appear normal:
Head, brain, face, spine, neck and skin, chest, four-chamber view and great vessels of heart, abdominal wall, gastrointestinal tract, kidneys, bladder, extremities (arms, legs, fingers and toes) and skeleton.

The doctor had also revealed that I shall have a healthy and safe pregnancy looking that my placenta is positioned at posterior high. There will be no issue for me to travel or continue to perform not too strenuous sports.

This was indeed a good consultation session to clear all the dark clouds that scattered above me all these while. I am now able to march ahead healthily and happily with the baby in the womb.

Expenses:
Structural Scan + Consultation Fees=RM400

P/S: 1st Trimester Screening + Consultation fees = RM 845